If I had a television station, I would make it a news station.  24 hours a day.  If I could sell people on the idea I was providing 48 hours worth of information a day- that would be even better!

I could vent what I think on a daily basis if I had a television station.

If I didn't want to talk about something then maybe there'd be an outbreak of the flu.  It happens once a year people get the flu.  Then other people develop and sell dead pieces of the flu.  If I talked to the people who sold the dead flu, then we could coordinate and maybe they'd give me some money to talk about the flu while they're trying to sell dead samples of that flu.

That's just if I didn't have anything important to say that day- of course.

The flu is great because if I really want to rile people up I can sell each flu as something new.  That's pretty much what the flu is anyway.  It's an affliction which produces common problems every year, but each year's strain of flu is always a little different than the one the year before.  It's a new disease each year.  That's why human antibodies don't just eradicate each year like chicken pox.

We could write the flu season down on all of our calendars if I owned a television station.

That might even be a lot of work, so I may have to hire someone to write down the flu on all of our calendars when we buy them.  If I owned a television news station.  I'd hire someone to do all that writing and that would create a job.  

The job I created could then be good news.

Just so people didn't stop watching my news station, I'd hire someone to come up with creative names for the flu each year.  Since it's always different, we can always come up with a new name.  I want to start with "Satan Flu" though.  That one I worked out on my own and since I'll own the television station that's where we start.  "Satan flu" it's got a nice ring to it. 

I bet American people would love my television station with names like that!

If I owned a television news station, I'd take advertisements from everyone with cash.  I'd be rolling in the dough.  Hydroxy Cut wants to advertise in copious amounts.  I take them on as a client.  Pay me and I'll use some of my 48 hours worth of news time to give Hydroxy Cut a quick shout out.  If the product starts making people's livers shut down, then I still win because I can fill more time with that horrible news. 

Hydroxy Cut bad- now that they don't pay me to say their name.

I love video clips.  Watch enough TV and there's always at least five minutes of something worth clipping.  Clip the video and rewatch it ad naseum.  Rewatch it and comment on it.  That one frozen moment in time and space. 

Whether the clip let's you laugh, vent or burn down a village; the clipping process is awesome.  If I owned a television station, I'd playback all of the things happening on TV that I love or hate.  And just in case people get too fired up, I can fill time telling them how they shouldn't panic.  If I owned a television station, I could fill the world with my perspective and find out just how human I am. 

By human, of course, I mean fallible!