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I got my Economic Stimulus check the other day.

What was that?

I got $1800 from the government.  Did they have too much money?  I assume not since they had to borrow the money that I got, but I got the money anyway.  I got it from them.

As if it was theirs to give.

I'm really curious what that was exactly.  The reason I’m confused is because President W is a tight ass.  He's been looking out for his pals for the last eight years.  Then I get my check.  The economy is in shambles, but there are some very rich individuals that got much richer over the course of the last eight years.  With W leaving office, it almost seems as if the economy getting worse is just the last bit of cashing out by W's friends.  Of course, it's not just his friends. 

I'm sure Cheney's friends aren't flipping burgers in a Wendy's.  These people might be cashing out during our economic recession and experiencing a boom, because you can be sure that the economic divide between rich and poor must be expanding.

A boon doggle is what it is.

Many people I talk to are talking about layoffs.  They've got no job, but they didn't get fired.  A lot of people are losing work.  I got an $1800 check though.  The government of the United States of America created an equal payment for each citizen, Comrade. 

We each got our equal portion under the rule of W.

Gas prices have sky rocketed.  I received a chain email the other day that decried the horrors of the rise in gas prices.  In this email, a series of photos documented a massive, indoor ski resort built in a desert in Saudi Arabia.  The caption complained about these Arabs making so many American dollars to build such extravagancies.

And it was quite the spectacle.

The Arabs are a front though.  Who cares how foreigners spend their money?  We might criticize them on the general principle that such excess is inherently wrong, but it doesn't seem right to criticize them on their choice because our money went to them.  Where our dollars go after they leave our borders seems at times irrelevant.  Once our money leaves our borders, it no longer financially helps us.

(To take a step back: you can complain about dollars leaving the U.S. borders but debating which country receives the money seems rather silly because most recipients of that money remain virtually anonymous to the majority of the world's population.)

And I got an $1800 check in the mail.

I'm not complaining.  I can use the money.  I'm not immune from lay off.  The money I received will sit in a bank.  It will not be spent in large part to stimulate any part of the economy other than my sense of economic security.  I'm not a monkey and I won't dance for dollars.  So what was the check that I received?

Was it a bonus for W's and Cheney's buddies?  An economic stimulus may be interpreted as money going into the usual institutions, or rather, corporations.  There is no conspiracy here.  There are only shadowy organizations created to hide the individual identities of the members participating within the organization.  That is the legal and taxing function of a corporation.  Corporations shield individual participants from liability for actions taken by the corporation.

Or rather, the fictitious individual created on paper that we call a corporation.

Separate individual responsibility from actions and watch the fun happen.  Within a corporation, the corporate environment becomes an entity.  The system of hierarchy and order created for the generation of profit begins to take itself too seriously.  It begins to imagine that it really should have the same rights as that of a citizen.  Over time that entity begins to assume that it should have more rights than a citizen.

The corporation becomes super-citizen.

But I got an $1800 check that I suppose I'm supposed to put into an institution whether it be corporate or financial.  Whether I spend the money or put it in the bank, the system got the money back.  It’s intended as nothing more than a series of debits and credits.  That $1800 which was borrowed, then sent to me, was intended to be given back to the system.  Apparently, money does grow on trees and by giving it to all citizens we've taken a step closer to communism as well.

What's the difference?

At the very least, if we can talk about the system, then we might one day better understand the system.  Then we can stop talking about how little we understand about rising gas prices.  Who's making the money?  Nobody seems to know.  If we better understand the system (and when I saw "we" I mean all of us) then maybe one day we might agree on a system that works better than the one we have.

For now though, we need to simply put some thought into the system and draw reasonable conclusions.  After all, if we follow the logic of our forefathers: this is a Grand Experiment.

America I mean.

7 Deadly Sins

People say there's seven deadly sins and I must admit that each of the seven qualities in their own right sucks quite a bit.  Lust is cool as long as it's a mutual agreement.  It's excessive though.

Gluttony, in actuality, is something that we celebrate many times on a daily basis.  The person who spends outrageous sums of money with no need to justify or validate their actions is a glutton.  Gluttony doesn’t just indicate being a fat ass.  The problem is we accept as a given that it's every person's right as a person to accumulate and disperse as many resources as they can manage without regard for those standing around them.  For this rationalization on our part, we imagine that the glutton is only the overeater; but, in fact, any action taken to excess creates a glutton.

Religiously we might frown, but practically we don't.  Gluttony is a bad thing as well though because it's excessive.  The word itself suggests excess, but in our reality excessive actions are defined by the winners.  Those people who other people listen to create our dictionaries. 

Sloth, on the other hand, gets railed almost everywhere.  Virtually no one likes a lazy individual.  It's simply unacceptable.  Speed up.  Do what you need to do.  After awhile, more people adopt the habits of the lazy because if ‘they can do it, so can I.’ Sloth is not only excessive in its capacity to make time slow down to an inch worm, but sloth is also contagious.

Wrath is excessive and audacious.  Wrath develops a performance.  A great act of aggression or bitterness that cuts as hateful as a glove slap to each cheek.  Wrath is miserable to be around.  Wrath creates a wake of violent energy that expresses anger long and loud.  Wrath results in murder and should not be tolerated.

Envy is really more annoying than deadly in my opinion, but I'm certainly not a god (although I did stay at a Holiday Inn once.) Envy's excess derives from the whining and wishing that accompanies its constant wanting.  The excess of wanting something so badly that your life depends on it strikes as pathetic when obsessed over.

Pride again is probably not so deadly.  You're not going to kill someone by being an a-hole.  You'll probably just make somebody's day very miserable.  Be an a-hole and play in excess.  Excessive expecations.  Excessive ignorance.  Excessive short-sightedness.

It all plays into pride and that's the seven deadly sins for you.  Or as I like to call them, "The don't be a douchebag list."  It could probably be taught to kids like that from the time they grow up.  They won't understand it at first, because it's just words.  A second grader probably doesn't know the difference between the functions of a douche bag and a tea bag.  Around eighth grade, kids would get a good laugh out of it. 

Don’t be a douche bag.

The Don't Be a Douche Bag List is as follows.  Step one, eliminate the excess.  Step two, focus your efforts on whichever items on the Don't Be a Douche Bag list that you feel you represent.  Step three, here's what each of the items on the Don't Be a Douche Bag list means.

No religion.  No philosophy.  Just talking to one another like we're f'ing human beings.  Like we all just live here on this planet together.  I don't care about the environment.  I care about our species.  We are going nowhere literally and metaphorically.  We've just stalled and stupid is cool.  No need for paying attention or thinking anymore.

Go to sleep.  Go to work.  Go to eat.  Go to sleep.  Rinse and repeat five days a week.  Wish away the Monday for a better Friday.  Wish away a week.  Watch that week fly.  What have you done?  Where are you at?  Do you feel like you're moving forward? 

Literally or figuratively?

We've got to change something, but it can't happen right now.  We can't focus on us because that's just selfish.  Plus, things don't get better that quickly.  To really have an impact you have to focus your energy on tomorrow.  I suppose that impulse is expressed by many when they take their kids to daycare, then they go to work, go to eat and then go to sleep.  Rinse, recycle and repeat. 

Putting the kids through college still happens.  Putting up with the kids period still happens.Somehow it's for the children, but it's not even really for them.  That's just f'ing cliche.  It's for tomorrow.  Is there going to be any children tomorrow?  I guess the better question might be, are there going to be any adults tomorrow?  I feel good about my kids, but I've talked to them about the Don't Be a Douche Bag list.

Positive change takes time, but something has got to give on the gas prices.

Tip of the week

Decide what you would have your work in this world be and then live your life to emulate that vision. 

Should people have to work on Saturday or Sunday?  Could you stay home one of those days and not spend any money? 

If so, live your vision until it becomes true.

Birthday Shout Outs (June 22nd to June 28th)

22nd
(1903) John Dillinger- Mommy.  I want to be a bank robber when I grow up.
(1936) Kris Kristofferson- There's no "Me & Bobby McGee" without this guy.

23rd
(1400) Johannes Gutenberg- He's credited with inventing the printing press.  I have to imagine there is no internet without this guy.
(1955) Glenn Danzig- Some of his best work was with the Misfits.

24th
(1842) Ambrose Bierce- He wrote a short story that eventually became a Twilight Zone episode ("An Occurence at Owl Creek Bridge") as well as the Devil's Dictionary which takes common English words and reinterprets their meanings into more selfish lights.  It's interesting that he really didn't have to deviate much from the common meanings.
(1899) Chief Dan George- I liked his work in Outlaw Josie Wales and Little Big Man.

(1942) Mick Fleetwood- Few bands ever achieved the masterful harmony demonstrated by Fleetwood Mac.



(1944) Jeff Beck- As lead guitarist for the Yardbirds, he was almost as cool as the Beatles.



25th
(1903) George Orwell- 1984 and Animal Farm were written by a cynical genius.
(1949) Jimmy Walker- What more needs to be said then, "Dyno-mite!"

26th
(1959) Mark McKinney- The Kids in the Hall were very funny, but not as cool as the Beatles.

27th
(1927) Bob Keeshan aka Captain Kangaroo- I loved this man growing up.
(1942) Bruce Johnston- The Beach Boys had a good sound.

28th
(1926) Mel Brooks- He's got writing credits for 138 episodes of the TV series "Get Smart."  He wrote Blazing Saddles, Young Frankenstein and Spaceballs.  That's prolific.
(1932) Pat Morita- "Wax on, wax off Daniel-san."  That's not even to mention the work he did on

Happy Days.
(1946) Gilda Radner- She's a Saturday Night Live original cast member.  SNL is as cool as the Beatles.

(1948) Kathy Bates- Her work in Misery was very convincing.  She also gets a favorable nod for her role in Waterboy.
(1966) John Cusack- One of the few "teen-aged" actors in the 80's who doesn't come off like a fairy in retrospect.  Better Off Dead is still a hilarious movie.

Belly Laugh

Stand up comedian Paul F. Tompkins isn't necessarily open to close funny, but he has flashes of brilliance that are unquestioningly relevant.

There's a bit where he plays the role of an elite business man who exclaims, "I eat money because it makes me feel powerful."  That line is inexplicably hilarious and demonstrates that good comedy would make you cry if you took it seriously.  Alas, I couldn't find the clip.